Happy!

My prayer was answered today. What was it? That's for me to keep ;)

But for now I am thankful and off I go to pray, so that more wishes will be granted.

I am happy!!!

In need

I am in need of a job. Simply because I need to fulfill my desire for shopping.

I am sick and tired of waiting for other people to provide me with things which is also not unfair because my taste are no mediocre. I appreciate and love fine things in life and those things does not come free nor cheap.

I want a skinny jeans
I want a pair or leather flat ballerina, not from vincci
I want tonnes of clothing.
I want new handbag, and with distinguish name.

The problem is, no one wants to hire me and that's is bruising my ego and not to mention my self esteem.

Well actually they are already shattered.

I hate to say this but sometimes I wish I did not make certain decisions that I made.
I wish I can say I hate you out loud.

Verdict

I've tried cooking the onion ring, it was not bad at all. Maybe I could add more flavour to it, using the mixture of onion and garlic seasoning perhaps?

On the other hand, I am feeling a bit down. My applications were mostly rejected. Am I that bad? I can feel my self esteem is going down the drain. I wish I could share with someone but sometimes the person who available doesn't seemed to be a suitable candidate. I need someone who is truly proving their words, now that's comfort.

But I am not going to give up nor sit down, do nothing and wait for things to happen.

Time bomb

I am like a time bomb.



Quiet, minding my own business and sucking it up to myself. Why should I tick aloud when the other party would not do anything, or worst will make me end up feeling like shit because I try to let it out.

That's ok. I have my own term and my own time. You probably would not know because after all that happen to me, I am good at keeping things to myself, concealing my feeling. But like the time bomb, I will keep ticking and ticking until the time comes.

Bomb!

Call me selfish. Yes I am but at least I acknowledge what I want far before I seal the deal and that time, I was told it was ok to want what I want, to feel what I feel.

How do I feel right now?

You pulled me under,
If I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth,
That's breaking my skin.
Well I'll hide all the bruises,
I'll hide all the damage that's done.
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

I love this piece by James Morrison and now when I hear it, everything make sense.

God, please give me strength, please pull me in!