My worries

I sometimes found myself telling people to keep holding on to their love. Although many years ago, I experienced the feeling of being out of love.

I love that guy, to me he was everything and I was pretty sure that we will end up together. Yet the dreams were shattered when he can't provide me with my needs. That time was presence and security. I admit, I am not an easy person to handle. Especially back then.

I left him not too long. Can't really see why should I hang on any longer.

I am more matured now, I changed too. But how can I save myself from falling out of love again?

At times I keep asking myself, is this how my life going to be? Bury in worries and convincing myself, once I take the huge step, it should be forever? I know I can still go on like this, at least for now. But the little flickering treacherous feeling might spread, not to soon I hope.

I pray to God so that it will always stay. I do.

But I don't know, maybe He is trying to punish the little selfish girl in me.

I am so sorry.